Monday, May 15, 2006

Too Weary to Fight

Today I feel old. I definitely did not feel like getting up early to weed. I didn’t make it out to water until about 9:30. By 10:30 I was in, ready to eat breakfast and start my workday. After I got back from the post office I knew I should get back to the weeds, but instead chose to check in a book shipment. So it was about 7 PM before I finally got back in my gardening clothes. I had no energy, no enthusiasm, and absolutely no desire to pull weeds. But I realized if I didn’t they would win. I told myself I would just do a little bit, and if I got too tired I would go in.

But – as usually happens -- once I start I somehow get motivated to keep on. I told myself I would just go one foot more in a certain direction to free one more weed-covered container I need. And then I said I’d just free the boysenberry plant that was covered. And I did that. (What a mess of tangled trellis and bird netting that was!) And then I went just a bit farther to free the lemon balm, which was valiantly holding out, just waiting for more light to flourish. By then it was dusk and time to go in, and I had put in another hour.

Sometimes I am spiritually exhausted, too, and have no desire to fight the enemy of my soul. It’s easier to neglect my Bible when I’m tired, or my prayer life. I can feel too tired to help my neighbor or go to church. But I find when I push myself, even when I don’t feel like it, I can keep on, and as I push ahead in the right direction I am given the energy I need. And now, to bed. It does help to also get enough sleep to prepare for the day ahead.
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